The Power of Self Nurturing for Women

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Why do you need to nurture yourself and how do you do it and when!?
Before answering those questions I will start with a bit about myself and how I found the answers for me!
Once upon a time, as a child and then a young woman, I used to feel very fragile, regularly buffeted by the prevailing forces. I traveled from situation to situation, from school to home, traversing my world, confused by my relationship dramas, all too aware of the wobbliness of my feelings within.. Sometimes I felt on top of the world, I felt bright and good inside, but then my light would dim and I’d wonder why I felt somehow broken, how to make my path in life and to develop the faith in myself I needed.

In the living with those questions and through daring to become the heroine of my own tale, I’ve launched myself into the void more times than I could tell, seeking freedom from constriction and to develop the power I needed to create the life of my dreams. Over the years I’ve grown that core of strength and self-knowledge, that guides me like my own North Star .I’ve traveled away from my family and comfort zones. I’ve learned what ‘the shadow’ really means for me, I’ve tried and tested so many healing modalities and trained in quite a few of them too. I’ve practiced at home, on my front lines, seeing daily how I can bring about change where it’s most needed, I’ve prayed and danced and learnt conscious breathing under great duress. In time I cleaned up my own inner world a lot. I took responsibility for my feelings instead of blaming my nearest and often not so dearest! I took full responsibility for my self nurturing, rather than waiting to be given permission to look after myself. I realised that only I could know how I was feeling and take the steps necessary to keep me feeling good. Through being attuned and caring of my reactions to my world, I brought balance and self love to my hungry, sensitive system. The landscape changed, so dramatically that I want to share the good news! It is so worth honouring your dreams and innocence, but it requires tenacity, honesty, soulfulness and courage. I reach my hand out to the women I see all around me in the hope of sharing the tools and knowledge I’ve found and the ease that we all deserve to have.
Let us consider where many of us find ourselves these days….Today more than ever, women are asking enormous amounts of themselves and their families with them. We wish to be dynamic in the world in our career choices, to be successful lovers, wives and mothers and to look and feel good no matter how busy or stretched we are. We hope to be glossy, confident creatures doing our work well, managing our personal lives beautifully and balancing it all with style. This is a high ask of ourselves, and is leading to huge discomfort, not only in our own lives but for those who live and love with us. Balancing it all has become a crazy juggling act for millions and visits to the doctors for depression, obesity, chronic fatigue syndrome and other stress related diseases are up to unprecedented levels.
Knowing and honouring ourselves is not taught or modeled to many young girls. We are often brought up by busy, working parents, taught at schools in which the focus is mostly on the development of the intellect and ushered into our working choices before we have learnt to hear and emphasise the voice of our own inner knowing. The media upholds the myth of feminine power through outer beauty to ludicrous levels. Generations of girls are now emulating the posturing of pop stars and minor celebrities, who often express angry feminine power and vast swathes of perfected flesh as the tool they wield. Anorexia and binge drinking are becoming the norm amongst many young women in the Western world.
There is something very wrong with this picture, yet I can see an evolutionary force at work in us all. Pull back from seeing the view up close and you will see a wave of awakening that is sweeping change throughout the world and we women have been at the forefront of it, demanding glass ceilings imposed from within or without be removed so we may rise into our fullest selves. We are a force for good that holds the keys for human joy and relationship bliss and the speed at which we live that is only up to us. The Dalai Lama is quoted as saying ‘the world will be saved by the western woman’. I agree and I believe that is because we are not only under the kind of pressure that creates diamonds out of coal, but also that we have access to books, support and therapies that educate us how to manage this pressure and to become powerful compassionate souls that make a difference.

However I’d like to add, that as we become out of necessity that powerful creature, we will find ourselves partnered by the kind of men who have also met and embraced their shadow, developed their feminine skills and who now offer their strengths to the co-creation of a beautiful society.

Never underestimate the power of your self-nurturing, it is not only a necessity for your own health and wellbeing, your relationships and pleasure in life, but also you become a magnetic presence out in the world. You awaken others by the sound of your voice, the warmth in your eyes, your ability to respond to life circumstances from your authentic self. You bring a quality into life that will inspire others, bless them and soothe them. Your inner work is one of the keys to our society changing into what we all desire at heart, your influence is immeasurably huge and much needed.

 

What is Faith and how do we get some?

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I found this question forming in me when I was quite a small child and indirectly it has been at the core of my life’s searching ever since. I heard the priest at our church speak a lot about faith, but with no explanation. He spoke of it as if it was a necessity to have and I wondered how I would know if I had some!
Did the lady next to me have some faith. If so, where did she get it from and was there something wrong with me if I didn’t have this magical sounding quality?

I gave up the searching in churches soon after, as they didn’t seemed to offer guidance, inspiration and instruction that nourished me. But my search for answers pushed on… I knew I had something bright and effective inside of me, though it was an on/off affair, yet despite years of efforts to explore spirituality and my psyche, I still didn’t understand faith. Was it just the ability to pretend that everything was ok and that I expected only the best? Was it imagining that a higher power that I couldn’t see, hear or touch was going to make everything better? This didn’t seem reliable or practical to me, and surely the way that the priest had earnestly advised us to use our faith, had implied that it was an infinitely useful quality to have.

It wasn’t until I discovered the channelled teachings of Abraham Hicks that I found the specific and technical answers to the longing I had. Here Faith was described as the ability to feel something and know it, before it is physically apparent or manifest, using our ability to envision something till it makes us feel better. They teach that a good feeling is a God feeling, meaning that when we feel good, we are aligned with Source energy, allowing it to flow through us. When we are feeling bad, it is the degree to which we have cut ourselves off from Source that denotes how awful we feel. This is our guidance system, inherent since birth, designed to lead us towards what we do truly align with and away from what is contradicting to the Source expressing through us.

When we feel good, we are up to speed with how our Godself sees that situation or person or indeed ourselves. But when we feel bad we are focusing, speaking and expecting something far from the higher perspective.

I was ruminating on all this after the recent elections, when many people I know, including me, were feeling the gap between the world we’d like to live in and the perceived world that we do. I was reminded of the ‘need to keep the faith’. The fact is, we know that something has touched our lives and caused us to feel the desire to live a wholesome and kind life, yet despite our great efforts, we do not yet see all around us the out-picturing of well being that we would all so love to be part of.

Firstly I am reminded by my inner guidance that I too still have attitudes in me that could be called ‘conservative’, the parts of me that want to be sure I’m safe, to trust that everything I have and love will always be part of my life…’conserving’ being the theme, fear being the motivation. So I embrace those parts of me with all the kindness I can, forgiving myself for my trepidation and letting go of judgement on others who act this out too.

Then I come back to a more centred place, I let go of the fear, I then remember that so much of my life reflects a way of life that is in harmony. I know instinctively that the influence we all have is rippling out and our personal acts of healing and clearing are changing far more than we might fully see right now. Our minds are so powerful, let’s remember to hold the vision no matter what our eyes see and soon enough it will reveal. Just as a chair, a house, a business must be created in mind first, …so too will our society eventually respond to the pictures we hold. EFT meridian therapy can be a powerful tool for clearing the anger and fears that surface along the way, if you would like some support in feeling more faith, contact me for bespoke sessions that can open up new vistas and dreams….