Are you really ready to change?
At the core of our experiences, what defines us are the choices that we allow ourselves to make. When we feel connected to our dreams and ready to make new choices, then we become more of ourselves… Each moment of everyday, we are faced with infinite opportunities to decide which way our expectations will go. Through our love of safety, we tend to put great store by continuity, reminding ourselves of the story of our lives, how we got where we are, whom we consider ourselves to be, what we want to avoid or achieve and our relation to the others we assess around us… Are we better than them, less something or other than them? We tell ourselves why we are where we are and often make a habit of telling others too, assuming that it’s important that they know too!
Today I invite you to consider the ‘story’ that you woke up to, how quickly you searched for your place in it, perhaps even having to dig around for the memory of where you were up to yesterday! Is it a story of struggle, uphill efforts, laden with the weight of history or responsibility, tethered to fat strands of storyline, not enough money, dissatisfying work, health issues niggling at you…Did you wake up and reach for yesterday’s place in the story?
Well how about entertaining this notion…When we sleep, we drop the density and leave our physical bodies, refocussing in the higher dimensions of our Divinity! Just like the pre-birth state, we are aware of ourselves in infinite oneness and limitless freedom…
When we return to our physical vehicles in the morning, we arrive back in our lives, nourished and cleansed, without the inconvenience of infanthood and teens to go through! It is a daily rebirth and if it wasn’t quite so ordinary and reliable for most of us, we might recognise what a powerful opportunity it is to enjoy the reset!
That time just after awakening is such a potent time to choose what story line you choose to live. If you will reach for enjoyable thoughts, revel in your quiet time, breathe light, colour, grace or peace into your cells before attempting to find your place in your story, then you will set yourself off to such a good start. When times have been tough, reaching for simple and general appreciations will serve you best, like enjoying your breath, the warmth of the bed, the dawn light creeping in… If you feel good enough, then sit up and write in a journal of the aims of your day…I welcome…. I call in more…. I am ready for….
Then make the choice for more ease and pleasure as you step forwards into your day, shower yourself with gorgeous smells, be kind to your body as you dress, IGNORE parts of it that you have habitually judged, give yourself a break! With love, all body issues will return to balance. You can play yourself lovely music, listen to an inspirational talk…observing what your choices are feeling like in your system. Do your best to stay away from the News (The olds!) and don’t let yourself indulge in petty thoughts and conversations. Choice after choice will define the vibrational pathway that you will walk today. Each one having a signature pulse that we feel in our systems and inure ourselves to if we are not conscious of the choice and have long got in the habit of coping with.
It’s all too easy to keep our vibrations repeating and therefore our stories and experiences too and yet it is relatively easy too, to change where we are headed if we simply make a choice sooner rather than later. No-one but us chooses for us. It is ourselves that add the meaning to the insults and stressors that we attract. If we will choose that ‘time out’ that can reset us, then we can recalibrate to a more expansive vision and experience an entirely different timeline… It truly is all up to us.
Simply put, if it feels good, then your attitude, thoughts and choices will lead you into more good, if the thought feels contracted, then you need to come back to wellbeing before striding out again. No good can come from magnifying a negative state, only by bringing loving attention to ourselves can we course correct towards our pleasure and wellbeing…
Contact me for a programme of transformational healing if you’d like to have some support and personalised tools. I offer a free 1/2-hour consultation Skype/phone sessions if you have interest in working with me. I’m also starting several new coaching courses this year, both online and in person in Glastonbury… see details @www.SacredHeart.Space
On Facebook Personal Transformation with Lasare Maloney
As a Womens’ Well-Being Coach and mother to 2 young boys, I find practicing good self-care to be foundational to my own happiness and that of the others that I love and support. After years of trying to do it all and crashing and burning all too many times, I now see self-nurturing as my primary responsibility in every day. Our moods affect everyone and everything we see and do. Like a radio transmitter, we emit what we are feeling and magnetically attract to us circumstances and reactions from others that play right into our moods. Start the day off kilter and watch how things will catch you off guard time and again. You will miss the train, not get a seat, realise you’ve forgotten to call someone back, feel ignored at work or at the shops. It barrels on into event after event – reminding me of that knowing phrase ‘getting out of bed on the wrong side’.
It’s up to us to set and reset our energy, expectations and availability for the day ahead. Then we are well ‘planted’ in our intent, poised and centred in our readiness to engage with the day and live our best. Of course if you have young children, you may well have your day started for you, in which case grace under pressure is the best thing you can aim for! Being realistic about the time you have available to you and learning what little positives steps you can slip in, is vital to the success of your aim. Taking those steps kindly and consistently is the key to transforming your life from one of reactivity to one of creativity!
Firstly and obviously, a good nights’ sleep sets the scene for a decent day. I know there are those who don’t really have a choice over whether you sleep or not, based on little peoples’ sleeping habits. To those I say, spread your expectations for rest out over your entire 24 hours. Adjust your resting to mimic your child’s’. Even if you cannot sleep whenever they sleep, you can be sure to build in something restful or kind to you in that time. As a mum whose kids slept like strobe lights (on and off all night long!) sometimes in life you just have to accept the task in hand, know it’s going to strengthen you, and be clever and kind to you. Milk every moment of bliss you can steal; revel in the stillness of the sleeping child, play great music whenever you can, indulge in good aromatherapy in your showers, keep a book of inspiring thoughts beside the loo and do enjoy a regular night or day out for you and your love. Putting your own needs for nurturing high on the list will mean your child has a warm mum to snuggle up to, rather than the frazzled version you will become if you think you don’t rank as high as your loved ones.
Of course self-nurturing is just as important to those without children. The feminine spirit is highly responsive to the feelings and needs of those around us, whether we know them or not. Remember being in a situation where someone is acting out, maybe it’s caused you to tense, breathe more shallowly, search hard for solutions, or numb out and distance yourself. These reactions are all because the incoming information is overwhelming your own sense of self and inner equilibrium. Wouldn’t you like to remain calm and at choice in your response? Then making a habit of knowing your centre is the beginning of knowing how to get back to it under duress.
Start your day celebrating you. Make sure your home environment pleases you, even if it’s just one area that you can really call your own. Indulge your senses with your morning routine. Be aware that what you focus on determines your mood, so is listening to the news every morning or a morning TV show really going to help your day start right? Knowing your music collection and using it like a healing tool is fantastically effective. Feeling cross? Whack on Alanis Morissette and let it move, breathing deeply – if you are on your own or in the car, I highly recommend letting some noise out! Making sounds, does the Soul a power of good. All that polite suppression of our natural noises bends us so far out of shape. If you’ve never done it, please try it, we were not designed to be quiet and demure in the face of stress! But choosing how and when you let off the steam is highly recommended – you don’t want to scare the heck out of anyone! If you need some soothing- let Enya’s sweet soul or other healing music bring you back to your heart… or dance your way into work with dynamic beats to lift you into the zone that makes you rock!
Spend a little time each day checking in with your breathing too. When we are stressed or anxious, we breathe shallowly, trying to minimise our feeling response to the event. But all this does is stuff the tension deeper for resolution another day, a day we usually try to avoid at all costs!
We women are highly attuned feelers, emotions are our feedback system, like nerve endings letting us know that we need to move our hand away from a hot stove. Our emotions show us how we feel about something we are seeing or thinking. It is our perceptions that determine our emotions far more than the other’s actions. Listen to your reactions. Buy yourself some time when life’s getting hot. Step back from the situation and give yourself a timeout. Take some deep breaths, count in for 4, hold your breath for 7 and breathe out for 8. Do this a few times and you will feel yourself return to more calm, allowing you to come from your front lobe wisdom rather than your fight or flight reaction. Breath is the fastest way to change our stressful reactions and be at will rather than at the mercy of stress. Then we can see a broader take on the situation and potentially see with our hearts instead of our fears.
Another great technique is to take regular pauses in your day to envision how you would like the next segment of the day to go. Imagine the people that you are going to meet with, see yourself smiling, offer an intent that things work for the highest good of all involved. Know that your intentions and expectations set the flow of your own energies and you will also discover that you have a surprising amount of influence over how others will behave towards you too. If you’ve ever worked with someone that you know does not like you, you will have also noticed how differently you end up behaving around them. Conversely, when you hang out with those you know appreciate you, you will see yourself giving and being your best. We are all multi-faceted and we affect each other so deeply on an unconscious level. Go in to any situation expecting to find something that you like in those you meet and you will find it. Go with an attitude and watch events prove that story too.
Finally here’s another principle to look out for in your life… The deep feminine in all of us is receptive; the yin receives, whilst the yang gives/does. If we do not define what we wish to receive and determine the quality and depth we believe we deserve to receive, then our subconscious beliefs will manifest for us the proof of our expectations. Taking full responsibility for what you are attracting and adjusting your self-care, so that you fill yourself with good feelings daily, will mean that you are not hungry and needy for any attention. You will become discerning and clear about who and what enters your life, your work, your home, your body. We only have 24 hours a day, would you not want to be a conscious creator of your day, rather than an unconscious receiver of whatever is flowing your way?
Taking care of yourself has a far-reaching impact for you and for those you interact with. Attune yourself towards the best in you and expect to meet the best in others. Take your conscious time-outs and tune in…what is the next best step you can take?
Many of us know of the Yin-yang symbol of Taoist origins standing for the masculine and feminine – but how much do you notice the principles it points to in your everyday life? The symbol shows two interconnected shapes, one black, and one white, with a dot of the opposite colour contained in it. Do you recognise your masculine energy (yang) in action? Do you feel and notice the feedback of your feminine (yin) energetic sensitivities? They are fantastically helpful to be aware of and can bring great balance between our masculine and feminine and understanding to our relationships and life in general.
Yang predominates as an energetic force in males, but is also a force that we females use too. It is our go-getting, manifesting, make happen, creational energy. It defines our interests, our focus, protects our concerns.. Yin is our stillness, the responding, feeling, receiving aspect of our consciousness. It is the all watching, noticing, quivering with feeling part of us that is most often recognised as a characteristic of females, but as the symbol shows is inherent in males too.
It is clear looking back over the last century in particular, that women have been developing a deeper connection to their masculine energies, taking over farming, manufacturing and commerce during the wars, rolling their sleeves back and feeling their accomplishments. After the wars came the backlash from the group psyche, having re-established safety in their countries, men in their many thousands crashed and burned, relaxed with a joint, dove into the many arms of the feminine and discovered how they really felt about warring and being expected to act as puppets for the government policies..
The massive movement ever since into self-knowledge, therapies, philosophies and healing from our stories has been all about the clearing of our feminine feeling states. The impulse to learn about all this has led to an emptying out of the ‘muck’ in our ponds, letting more clear ‘water’ come in and allowing a higher vibration to develop as our chosen way of life. What use is all that powerful yang energy if it runs wild into problems, killing and controlling anyone in our way. Only when we have tended to our fearful, divisive killer instinct and transcended this reactivity can we truly serve life..and enjoy it.
It is the natural order of things that the feminine inside of us be still regularly, receive from the Divine, be in-spired then allow our masculine energy to arise to action, to determine, define, lay structure and make it so.
With regular inward visits to feel the reverberations that move through the inner feminine systems, to breathe, to sound, to allow all reactions to settle, we can ‘land’ back in connection with ourselves, deepen our trust in the Divine reorganising principles. We will get the aha’s, the completions, the insights, the recovery of what we thought we’d lost.
Then we can sense where to put our attention and efforts. Everyday gives us myriad chances to practice this, even as I type now…I feel a pause, notice my senses, birdsong, breath, rising and falling…then my next words flow.. from yin comes yang, comes yin…comes yang…
Will you make a practice of pausing for inspiration, openness.. ‘a breath free of opinion’ I call it. Then your next actions will be filled with more presence, more potency, less need and fear. This is a wonderful practice for all people regardless of their gender and will lead to greater harmony within and certainly then all around.